How to have it all – NOW!

I would often read and hear professionals of universal laws or transformational thinking say “the second you decide to have anything, you already have it”.  This concept always confused me.  It wasn’t until a few years ago that I really began to understand and live the logic behind this concept.  This concept matters greatly in shifting your energy and it can often be the catalyst between truly feeling good about a situation we are in and “faking it” (although I do believe “faking it” has its merits and it is a path to achievement – but that is another story for another day).

Since I love process, let’s first take a look at 4 vital steps in the process of becoming present to already having what we decide to have (even before it is actually materialized in our hot little hands).

  1. Decide to have it. The decision is often the hardest part.  Often when people don’t have what they want it is because they haven’t fully made a decision to have it.  Dreaming about something and welcoming something in are 2 very different things.  Clarity of what to have in life is one thing, but decision is another!
  2. Accept that it’s here. You thought it up in your mind didn’t you?   What we think IS reality.  Expanding our view of having from realizing a “peak” moment in the process to the entire process which starts with deciding to have it is critical – more on that in a moment…
  3. Look for the evidence of it already exists in our current conditions. We are evidence collecting machines as human beings!  Might as well look for evidence of what we want existing vs. what we want not existing.
  4. Immediately take action on opportunities that will make the experience of having what you want seem more vivid. I believe that our experiences of unhappiness are just a sign that we are not fulfilled enough by the experiences we are having.  Often, we want something “more”.  “More” as in a more vivid or expanded experience of our desired state or of a material possession.  Humans are designed to be expansive in their desires and thinking (wanting more and more all the time).

In my career I have done a lot of corporate reorganizations including downsizing of staff.  Managers are very focused on the selection of talent to be eliminated (vs. the talent to be retained), and the notification day.  The truth is, there are many steps to the process but the day a decision is made to consider the possibility of downsizing, we are present to downsizing – it is not an event that we only “have” on notification day.  Notification day is only one step of the process (granted it is a moment that “peaks” the experience – it makes the decision extremely vivid), but the process goes on even after notification day (i.e. paperwork, distribution of company property to the right departments, answering employee questions, adjusting our payroll and accounting systems, etc.).

The same is true of a more happy occasion like a holiday or celebration.  Let’s use the example of a your birthday.

You, and those who know you well, know (granted they may forget but let’s assume they remember in this example), your birthday is coming – it is the same month and day every year.  Perhaps it is even on the calendar which means there is universal agreement to acknowledge (or to purposefully not acknowledge for some people) your birthday on that day of the year.  The concept of it actually being written on a calendar alone has a lot of power (it has even more power if the calendar entry reads “celebrate my birthday” vs. “my birthday”), it’s the power of planning and intention setting by the act of writing it down.

Anyway, the day we decide to acknowledge that the birthday is coming, we begin to “get into the spirit” of the event.  In that moment we HAVE that birthday NOW.

Let me explain that further.

Consider expanding your definition of having something to include ALL steps of the “process” of having – from inception of an idea to “cleaning up after the party”.

Do you currently think of “having” or being fully present to your birthday on the exact date of your birth, or do you “have” it at an event you attend to celebrate your birthday (which might be over a weekend near your birthday if your birthday falls on a weekday)?

It is the same with anything we decide to have in life.  Have you been living your life for some exact moment in the future to make you feel complete about having something in your life?  Acknowledge anticipating a moment that will “peak” an experience for you – but consider that it is not the only marker of having what you decide to have in your life.  Staying closely tied to a vision of a peak moment can remove us from experiencing what we decide to have because if things don’t turn out as we plan, we may feel like we don’t have that experience.  On the other hand, the vision of a peak moment is a valuable tool because it can help us imagine how we will feel about having something in our life.  Tapping into a feeling is vital for recognizing opportunities to experience that feeling more vividly.  The feeling also matters more than that moment itself.  Think about it – often we remember how we felt about events or acquiring things we cherished in the past more than we remember the actual details of experiencing or acquiring something.

Often, we get hung up on thinking that what we are doing matters more for happiness than how you are being (feeling).  Actually, we have more control over how we feel than over what we have to do.  Plus, we can capture/describe those feelings and then live out those feelings now.  We can chose to “be” those feelings now with other events going on in our lives.

So back to our birthday example, if enjoying a wonderful birthday party with your family and friends is going to make you feel loved and acknowledged, then “be” someone who is in touch with love and acknowledgement.  That means giving it to others and receiving it yourself.  For example, be that energy while sharing a meal with your family tonight, or for receiving a completed task/project at work today (give acknowledgment, express gratitude, be loving/kind).  Deciding to feel present to love and acknowledgement will put you in the practice of giving it and being on the lookout for gestures that support and sustain the state of love and acknowledgment.  That energy will open up your eyes to more opportunities to feel present to love and acknowledgement (because that is what you are focused on).

We often hear “the destination is the journey” and “the party is in the planning”.  Add to “the having is in the deciding” to your mindset as well and have anything you want and the freedom to experience it more fully right now.

About Gina Calvano

Gina Calvano is a certified coach and Senior Professional in Human Resources, with over 20 years of experience as a talent management professional in both the private and non-profit sectors. With a unique approach, she combines her strategic corporate expertise and accreditations with metaphysics and transformational thinking which has resulted in people all over the world feeling good about themselves and connected to a sense of purpose.

She created the Success Readiness Bootcamp™, a step by step process that enables people to easily discover their unique talents and abilities and match them to majors, jobs, industries and leisure pursuits. Gina is also the co-author of Breakthrough! Inspirational Strategies for an Audaciously Authentic Life with NY Times Best Selling Authors Marci Shimoff, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood and Powerful Connections Made Easy™ with Aprille Trupiano, and is currently working on her next book — Caged in My Cube: The Turnaround Guide For Loving The Job You Hate.

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