Not getting what you want out of life? Here’s why…

I have a few pet peeves in life – don’t we all?  Like yours, mine are quite simple and quirky – but they are mine.

For instance, I cannot stand it when my kids and dogs step on my feet – they do it chronically and it drives me nuts!  I also can’t stand it when guests plop their butt in a head seat at the dining room table in someone else’s home.  Another favorite peeve of mine is when people don’t RSVP to invitations and then they show up to the event (and sometimes they bring their own guests.  I once saw a picture in someone’s beach home that had a saying on it “Guests of guests may not bring guests” I loved that one).  So you get the point – my peeves (and these are just a few) are stupid – the are little things that are ultimately harmless in the grand scheme of things but they carry big power to “get my goat”.

Well one more of my favorite peeves is that anytime I go out to eat I always ask for lemon with my glass of water or iced tea.  About 75-80% of the time, I don’t get them lemon (at least it seems that way).  When this happens I would usually let it go – until recently…

Let me share with you what happened one innocent Friday afternoon at lunch with my 3 year old daughter.

One Friday afternoon at lunch, I asked for lemon with my iced tea.  I didn’t get the lemon with the tea.  I started to look around at everyone else enjoying lemon in their iced teas and waters and I actually started to get upset.  I realized how often I ask for lemon multiple times when I am dining out.  My ego went off in my head- “Why don’t I get lemon?  What’s the lemon block with me?  waaaaa, waaaaa, waaaa – OMG – LET IT GO!” But the truth is, if it were for my daughter I would have made sure she got the lemon (though my daughter doesn’t need any help in the getting what she wants department).  So why would I let this go since it was for me?  I decided I would have lemon for my iced tea that day and EVERY TIME I WANTED IT.

I thought “I can be upset looking at everyone else’s lemon or I can persist in getting mine.  Who cares that they others have it and I don’t – YET!  Who knows what they went through to get it (in this life or the last).” I decided to persist in asking for my lemons to see what would happen all the while focused on 2 things:

  1. I deserve whatever (lemon) I ask for
  2. I will get it (I decided not to leave the restaurant until I got it)

I asked for lemon with my iced tea again, then again and boy oh boy did the Universe deliver.  Eventually (it was delivered with my check), I received 4 perfect slices of lemon and I watched 2 waitresses conspire to make it happen.  My lemon experiment paid off – in lemons (a 400% return) and in wisdom (immeasurable).   Not only did I get lemon that day (and ever since that day – believe it or not – I have not been denied lemon in my water or iced tea since this incident), I also got some amazing insight into “ask and ye shall receive”.

Sometimes when we are denied something we ask for it gives us the opportunity to persist in our asking.  When we persist with kind conviction we learn persistence and abundance. Persistence because we always get it (even though sometimes we choose to quit before it gets delivered) and abundance because we are often rewarded with more than we asked for in the first place.

Later that same day (yes, I ate out 2x in one day), I was out to dinner with my family, I asked for water but I forgot to ask for  lemon (which I never forget to do).  And when the waiter brought us our drinks he handed me a big glass of ice water I realized I was going to have to ask him for lemon.  Before I spoke, he put a small dish with several beautiful slices of lemon in it right in front of me (this was interesting because he brought everyone water and even though I was in the seat furthest away from the waiter he put the lemons next to my water).  “Schwing!  Sweat deal!” I thought!

I made a decision earlier that day that I love lemon with my tea and water and I decided I would always persist in getting because it helps me drink an adequate amount of water each day.  Plus, it is important that I stand in getting what I ask for – don’t mess with me Universe!  That clarity is what attracted the dish of lemons to me without me having to ask for it.  Mission accomplished!  I now affectionately refer to standing in conviction for what I want as “a code lemon operation”.

So instead of water or iced tea without a lemon – think about your job (the water/iced tea).  If you’re finding your job bland (it needs a little “zest”), and you’re accepting the lack of “zest” which makes it harder for you to take in all that you can from that job – ask yourself  why?  Why don’t you persist in getting your “zest”?  If it’s not your job – where in your life do you accept not getting your “zest” so that experiences of “this is good” can not only be realized and expanded upon, but delivered without you even having to ask for them. Mmmmm – now that’s good!

About Gina Calvano

Gina Calvano is a certified coach and Senior Professional in Human Resources, with over 20 years of experience as a talent management professional in both the private and non-profit sectors. With a unique approach, she combines her strategic corporate expertise and accreditations with metaphysics and transformational thinking which has resulted in people all over the world feeling good about themselves and connected to a sense of purpose.

She created the Success Readiness Bootcamp™, a step by step process that enables people to easily discover their unique talents and abilities and match them to majors, jobs, industries and leisure pursuits. Gina is also the co-author of Breakthrough! Inspirational Strategies for an Audaciously Authentic Life with NY Times Best Selling Authors Marci Shimoff, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood and Powerful Connections Made Easy™ with Aprille Trupiano, and is currently working on her next book — Caged in My Cube: The Turnaround Guide For Loving The Job You Hate.

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