Secret Skills #8 & # 7 – Build and Convey a Personal Sense of Power and Engagement for your Work…

Continuing on in our countdown of 10 Secret Skills that build and convey a personal sense of power and engagement for your work…


Remember, they are a countdown because these are a progressive set of skills that can be developed and practiced in your daily work to connect you to a more vivid sense of personal power.  As we tap into our personal power we simultaneously quiet the  noise that inhibits our easy ability to find fulfillment from our work.


So let’s get on with the countdown of  “Secret Skills”here’s #8 and #7…


Secret Skill #8 – You build trust with others.  


People who build trust easily are people who generally have well-developed flexibility, non-judgment, “live and let live”, and “true to their word” muscles.  They are clear on what they want to accomplish and they can let go of how it has to happen.  They might even be open to letting their initial what ideas evolve if a greater opportunity shows up along the way.  They don’t make changing plans mean anything negative about themselves or others – why should they?  If they change their initial plans/decisions it’s usually because something greater (than themselves) has come up anyway!  That “something else greater” thing might include not wanting to adversely affect others – they will just course -correct so to speak to accomplish what they want without a cost to others.


People who can build trust stand for something virtuous – something that works for and benefits all affected parties – they don’t work to see their rigid view or standard come to life – even if others are adversely affected (insulted or demeaned) in some way.  This doesn’t mean they never insult or adversely affect others from time to time – when they do (when it comes to their attention or awareness), they will eagerly course-correct or right their wrongs.


Righting a wrong is often the fastest way to build trust.  Doing everything perfect all the time is nice but true trust comes for people when they see how you will own and clean up the messes you make along the way of interacting with them.


Of course they also do what they say they will.  If it is necessary to change a commitment, they don’t turn their back on what they originally committed.  They take accountability for it and they usually offer something even better in it’s place.  People who build trust understand that nothing is more powerful than their word.


That mentality easily fosters trust in others.  Don’t you trust people who you sense are not out to control you, judge you, compete with you, lie to you, or downright battle with you for their interests if conflict should arise (no matter how valid your position/needs may be)?


So what can you do to build trust with others?  Here are a few examples:


  • Get clear on the intention you have FOR others – no matter what you have to do (tasks), how do you want people to feel as a result of a task you performed for them or as a result of how you behave through a task (especially one you don’t like to do)?  When you “mess up” with people – apologize and affirm your intention for them.
  • Seek to understand what others want/would like (empathize) and try to incorporate their desires into your plans.
  • Practice non-judgment – remain neutral and remove spite, attack or revenge from your list of options when you feel wronged.  Instead seek to restore balance/harmony.
  • Be impeccable with your word – for more help on how to do this – I recommend you read “The 4 Agreements:  A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz



Secret Skill #7 – You do what it takes to get a job done.


This is a skill level that speaks to another’s subconscious mind that you have evolved from feeling justified for non-action based on the circumstances around you – in other words your power is internal and external circumstances to not shake what you have chosen to accomplish.  You have overcome a fear of facing obstacles – you will simply “figure it out” as you need to as you go along on the path of your goal.  That level of willingness to participate comes from a place of higher confidence.  It’s a confidence in your ability to succeed despite facing moments of “I don’t know” or “this isn’t easy or fun”.


When things don’t seem to be going well in the moment, there remains an overall optimism that something better – something more beneficial to all than initially imagined – is always just around the corner waiting to be discovered and acted upon.


Examples that this skill is evident may include – when you:

  • are a fast learner and/or approach everything with a “student mindset” – you see that there is always something to learn from everyone – even people less experienced or skilled than you.
  • advance rapidly – either in knowledge or in position/level of responsibility
  • receive recognition or rewards
  • accomplish goals under tight deadlines
  • figure things out others struggle to see
  • are described by others as friendly and helpful
  • do things others may see to be “beneath” you (i.e. tasks that require little to no training/skill or tasks that are not typical for your job)
  • consistently are willing to participate in things that may be outside the scope of your job
  • bounce back from an adverse situation and go on to realize success having learned something in the process – you see purpose in “negative” or unpleasant experiences
  • you correct/coach yourself onto success – you can see your own derailing behaviors and find the discipline to behave in a more effective way – even a way that may feel uncomfortable or unnatural for you


What’s evident in these examples are 4 things:


  1. Success – you are so optimistic and hopeful (aligned with a belief that something good could happen) that you rarely fail without seeing a bigger purpose – if nothing else you inspire others
  2. Chronic learner – you invest in your own development – you don’t wait for your company to pay for or provide the opportunities for you to learn something – you see opportunity to learn in just about every endeavor
  3. Goal-oriented – you’re SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely) intentioned
  4. Selflessness – in Secret Skill #8 you are a master of empathy – in this Secret Skill you are a master of compassion.  Empathy understands, compassion understands and takes action for others – perhaps it will even sacrifice self-interest for a bigger purpose.  You see opportunities as a chance to contribute to something bigger than yourself.


So, what have you done lately to do what it takes to get a job done?  Let me put this another way – what have you willing sacrificed of yourself  “for the benefit of another”?  Usually it’s a story involving how you gave your heart/care, time, money, energy, knowledge/skill/ability, chance for recognition, or dignity to benefit another.





Develop 2-3 examples (stories) to demonstrate how you have fostered trust and/or have sacrificed for another.  Your story/example should demonstrate the unique way you made a difference FOR ANOTHER (never just for yourself).

About Gina Calvano

Gina Calvano is a certified coach and Senior Professional in Human Resources, with over 20 years of experience as a talent management professional in both the private and non-profit sectors. With a unique approach, she combines her strategic corporate expertise and accreditations with metaphysics and transformational thinking which has resulted in people all over the world feeling good about themselves and connected to a sense of purpose.

She created the Success Readiness Bootcamp™, a step by step process that enables people to easily discover their unique talents and abilities and match them to majors, jobs, industries and leisure pursuits. Gina is also the co-author of Breakthrough! Inspirational Strategies for an Audaciously Authentic Life with NY Times Best Selling Authors Marci Shimoff, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood and Powerful Connections Made Easy™ with Aprille Trupiano, and is currently working on her next book — Caged in My Cube: The Turnaround Guide For Loving The Job You Hate.

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