A useful purpose for doubt, worry, guilt or fear

By Gina Calvano | Leave a Comment

Sometimes I cloud my decisions with judgments, worry or justifications that mask my guilt.

Actually, I have a long history of judging, analyzing and worrying over my thoughts – and doing it a lot – actually – to DEATH.  It was a fearful way of life for me for a very long time – just ask anyone in my family or any of my friends – just don’t ask my husband because he will tell you that I still do it.  ;-)

See that’s the thing about who we are, no matter what we learn or where we go or who we interact with – THERE WE ARE.  My tendency to make decisions and then analyze them or plan for how I would deal with anything that could go wrong (which is then what I would bring into my life – a lot of “things going wrong” – was a time in my life I now affectionately refer to as “the hard way years”).

This tendency will never go away – it has diminished, but it will never completely vanish – but I love this “bad” habit and here is why …

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…know what you want – part 2

By Gina Calvano | 1 Comment

So how has the past week been going for you?

Last week I invited you to think about something you want for yourself and to ask the Universe for it.  Perhaps you wrote about it in a journal, or you meditated on it, maybe you prayed or maybe you took a more direct route – you shouted it out loud from a rooftop or an open window.  Maybe it wasn’t quite that dramatic at all.  Perhaps you just thought of something after reading my blog and then forgot all about it.  All you actually needed to do was to decide on something you wanted and own that decision.   Whatever method you chose to own that decision doesn’t matter – just know that it worked just fine…

unless …

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What’s Love Got To Do With It?

By Gina Calvano | 1 Comment

Oh my – that crazy little thing called love.  Is there anything else truly more powerful?

In my coaching practice I often tell people that if you want to do something you can love, but you can’t (maybe because you can’t figure out what that is or maybe because it is just a task you ‘have to do’ but don’t prefer to do – like laundry) – then, love what you are doing.  Huh?  You might be thinking how the heck to you love something you already know you don’t love?  It comes down to 3 things:

  1. a choice
  2. a shift in your focus
  3. action

First – you must choose to have a life that includes loving doing what you love and the first step in making that happen is to love what you are doing.  You must make a CHOICE.  Break what you have to do into small portions – discover love for some aspect of what you are doing.  Consider the following ideas:

Do you love …

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How to Accomplish Anything

By Gina Calvano | 1 Comment

Stop trying is the answer.

So how is it going with your New Year’s Resolutions?  Here we are – week 3 of the new year and my resolution is going great.  I decided to stop trying anything for 2012 (and for the rest of my life).  Why?  Because trying is a state of mind and it is a trap for losing and aggravation – or as I like to say it in a fancy way (I like to say a lot of things in a fancy way) – willfully engaging in a prolonged struggle that will lead to certain failure.

I learned this from one of my favorite coaches – my 3rd grade son.

He came home from school the other day with his (or should I say OUR) homework.  New for this year, he has to grade his own assignments on a scale of 1-4 with 4 being the best.  I asked him how he thought he did on his assignments and he said a 3.  I asked him what he thought he could have done to make him feel like he did “4” work.  Surprisingly he had 3 specific things he thought he could have done (I was blown away!).  I asked him that since he knew what he could do to be a 4, if he was going to do 3 or a 4 work with his next assignment.  He said he would try to be a 4.  This struck my coaching chord in me.

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