Help! I hate my job! – part 2

Do you frequently say to yourself or others “I hate my job”?

In my last blog post, I started to introduce you to the idea that there can be benefits to being in a job you hate over being in a job you feel “lukewarm” about – especially if what you want is to be in a job you can love.  In that post I explained WHAT you must do – which is basically to confidently give what you have to offer to others.  So you might be wondering – “HOW do I develop confidence for what I have to offer to others?”…

All you have to determine is what you can give and decide to give it.  When you do this in a situation you don’t feel deserves what you have to give or in one that you think it will be hard to give it in – it becomes a “grand gesture” which accelerates your ability to notice and secure opportunities to easily give what you have to give (i.e. in a job and work environment you can love).

I love to use an analogy to explain this concept so you can easily absorb it deeply.  If you have ever seen the movie “Pretty Woman” with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts – you will get this concept in a snap!

In the movie Richard plays a conservative, emotionally-guarded business professional who has certain phobias (which are mostly fueled by doing anything outside of his comfort zone) – imagine him as representing you.  Julia plays a fearless, free-spirited prostitute who settles for nothing less than what she wants – imagine her as representing your dream job who can’t wait to be loved by you.

Under very unconventional/dysfunctional circumstances (the job you hate), they find each other, fall in love and the question becomes what to do about it – neither of them are very good at walking away from something they want – he wants her and she wants a fairy-tale esque romance (with him of course even though she gets that a fairy tale story is probably way out of his comfort zone so it will be highly unlikely to happen).  In the end, he goes to her seedy neighborhood and apartment (the place of employment you hate), to win her back – in a white limo (his version of a white horse) and he climbs up her fire escape (even though he is afraid of heights) to profess his feelings (way outside of his comfort zone) and win the girl.

If he did things within his comfort zone (i.e. call her on the phone, send someone to her apartment with flowers and request to meet him back in Beverly Hills or do nothing and just think about her the rest of his life adding her to the list of things that torture him emotionally), he wouldn’t have won her over.

He got her attention quickly and immediately on his side to succeed despite their prior conflicts/obstacles because he demonstrated that he is ready to give her what she needs to feel cherished – not just what makes him comfortable to give because of the circumstances surrounding him.  Plus, he did it in a way where he seemed happy to give it – he was happy climbing out of the roof of the limo with the flowers and smiling as he climbed up that fire escape – he wasn’t sweating, whining and saying things like “I hate this neighborhood”, “I hate heights”, “this is hard and scary”.  He was giving off energy that resonated with being in love despite external factors.  What was unspoken, but shown in his actions despite the circumstances and the setting, was how serious and ready he was to have her in his life and she was there for him – routing him on the whole way up that fire escape and “rescuing him right back”.

I want to help you determine what you can give and find the confidence to make a “grand gesture” to give it – especially if you are in a situation that isn’t easy, fun, enjoyable or gratifying.  A “grand gesture” in this kind of situation is a much faster path to being aligned with work you can love than when you are in a situation you feel lukewarm about (i.e. being in “like” vs being in “love”).  Being in “like” can be comfortable – it’s not too risky – but it doesn’t make you feel motivated to give a “grand gesture” or to find a situation you can “love”.

The Success Readiness Bootcamp created by indigoforce is an excellent way to discover what you have to give to others and to find confidence giving it no matter what situation you are currently in!  Now there is a do-it-yourself version of The Success Readiness Bootcamp.  So if you are in a job you hate or if you are just confused about what to be when you “grow up” you can get the same great program I lead my private clients through at a more affordable price – just email me at and let me know that you want more details – plus, we can schedule a free 1 hour consultation so you can determine if the program is right to help you figure out your next career step and secure a job you can love!

Help! I hate my job! – part 1

This week I want to share with you more content I am working on for my upcoming book Caged In My Cube:  The Turnaround Guide for Loving the Job You Hate.  Plus, this post is full of coaching insights I give my clients who say “I hate my job” they hate through my Success Readiness Bootcamp.

So, for those of you who say “I hate my job” but you want to love your job (so appropriate with Valentine’s day coming up to talk about loving our work)… I have some good news for you…

Aside from already being in a job you love, the second best place to be in your career is in a job you hate.  (The worst place to be is in a job you feel lukewarm about).

If you are hating your job (and if it’s not due to anything that could be illegal or immoral), then you simply have lost connection with how that job enables you to contribute on the level you want to – you may not be able to describe what or how you want to contribute – but you certainly feel the sting of the disconnect between your talents, abilities, ambitions and what you believe it takes to be valued in your job.

Feeling “I hate my job” is a wake up call to either reconnect with what it means to work from a sense of purpose and to discover what you have to give to others and maybe even to “move beyond” the opportunities your current situation enables.  It’s time for you to simply give more of what you have to give and to free yourself of concern that giving what you have to give will get you in hot water somehow.

Maybe what your feeling isn’t that deep at all.  Maybe you simply see your job as a source of income – PERIOD.  And you would highly prefer to collect that paycheck doing something you enjoy, in an environment and with people that don’t want to make you puke the night before you return to work for the week.

Either way, the truth is that if you want to love your job – either to feel connected to a sense of purpose or to just enjoy earning a paycheck in peace – whether it’s in the job you already have or a different one, you must first change your energy – your attitude – about the job you have.  If you don’t, then you will probably just stay stuck OR land in another job that eventually won’t fulfill you either.

The attitude you hold when you do your job is mirrored back to you through your perception of your job situation – as it will be with the next situation you land.  Initially it may be great, but if you have any unresolved issues about your work and the opportunity it provides for you to express your talents and abilities, your happiness won’t be sustained – especially if the new job doesn’t easily connect you to an internal sense of purpose.  

To find your purpose despite working in a job you hate change, you must first change your focus from looking for gratification from external sources to an internal discovery and connection with what you have to give to others and mix that with gratitude for the opportunity to give it (from what you get for your potential to give to what you actually DO give).  When your attitude changes, which it will once you are fueling it from your internal connection with purpose and gratitude to be able to give it, your energy will no longer align with a situation that is not a good match for what you are giving.  You will much more easily find yourself noticing opportunities that are in need (and will appreciate) what you happily and easily give.

The Success Readiness Bootcamp created by indigoforce is an excellent way to discover what you have to give to others!  Which, by the way, I am so happy to announce that I just finished creating a do-it-yourself version of The Success Readiness Bootcamp.  So if you are in a job you hate or if you are just confused about what to be when you “grow up” you can get the same great program I lead my private clients through at a more affordable price – just email me at and let me know if you want more details – plus, we can schedule a free 1 hour consultation so you can determine if the program is right to help you figure out your next career step.


When personal development isn’t enough . . .

I’d like to give you a complimentary copy of a new book by my mentors – NY Times bestselling authors, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood, called, “Your Hidden Riches,”

Your-Hidden-Riches-book image

but first let me ask you a few questions. . .

Do you ever feel like’s something’s missing? Maybe you ask yourself questions like:

Why do I feel so overwhelmed?

Why aren’t I happier and more fulfilled?

Why do I procrastinate and never seem to move forward?

What am I doing wrong?

If so, this new book is for people like you who recognize that personal development training just isn’t enough. You’ve realized that you need to go to a deeper level to discover your calling and live life with meaning. If you’re at that point, then please accept this gift.

Discover the Unique Design of Your Life:

Get Your Free Copy Now

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The 5 Stages of Connecting to a Life Calling – Stage 5

Stage 5 is Mastery –

In the Mastery stage you feel confident (not necessarily content), with the skills and techniques you’ve developed and you don’t hesitate to offer your expertise to others.

In the Mastery stage you are always listening to others explain their challenges through a filter of what you know so that you can offer your perspective and services as a potential remedy.  You know, that others don’t know, what you know to the degree you know it.  You also know that they don’t need to know everything you know – they just need what they are ready to understand as they face their challenges, get answers to their question, advance their goals, etc.  Understanding what another is ready to absorb to feel satisfied (and not overwhelmed) – that is another sign that you are in the mastery stage of your career development.

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The 5 Stages of Connecting to a Life Calling – Stage 4

Stage 4 is the Engage stage.  

Engage is the stage where you get what you do out into the world.  It’s where you pledge or promise to be responsible to regularly serve others the experiences, knowledge, skills and abilities you have acquired.  This can be through paid or volunteer service or just in what you do for others in your day to day life.  There are a few key distinctions to identify with this stage:

1. responsibility to others

2. regularity

3. giving knowledge, expertise and skills that you have acquired (to date)

Being responsible to others means …

…embracing that you make a difference for others.


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The 5 Stages of Connecting to a Life Calling – Stage 3

In keeping with our blog series on the 5 stages of connecting with a calling, let’s discuss stage 3 – The Prepare stage…

The Prepare stage is where you take responsibility to develop into a professional of the services you decide to provide to others.  Doctors, Lawyers, CPAs and a host of other professions have an exam you must pass in order to practice in these professions.  These exams assure the public that the people performing these jobs acquired the education and knowledgeable necessary to do an effective job for you.  As we know, not every job requires us to attain formal knowledge and skills before we can serve the public.  For most of us, we must take this on ourselves.

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The 5 Stages of Connecting to a Life Calling – Stage 2

Continuing in our exploration of the 5 stages of connecting to a sense of calling…

Stage 2 – Alignment

The Alignment stage is where you begin to create congruency in your life.  It’s about putting your thoughts and actions together to ensure your success.  We have all heard the phrase “put your money where your mouth is”.  The Cambridge dictionary defines this phrase to mean “to show by your actions and not just your words that you support or believe in something”.  I couldn’t have said it better myself!

The something that your supporting or believing in is yourself – that vision you discovered about who you are, what you want and what you will give to others and the major, occupation, industry and even leisure activities you decided to pursue because you see that they are a great match to support you in doing what you can easily do for others.  So what’s next is to align your actions – to move towards securing the education or experience you decided to go after.  The 3 best indicators of whether or not you are on track to achieve your goal are:

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The 5 Stages of Connecting to a Life Calling – Stage 1

At indigoforce, we believe that everyone will encounter 5 stages in their life-long journey to connect to a sense of working from a life calling.  Over the next several weeks, I will discuss each of the 5 stages.  I’m sure you will relate to being at each of these stages at some time in your life – especially stage 1.

Stage 1 – Discovery

The Discovery stage is where you first notice that you are unsatisfied with your work or your life.  You may begin to question how you’re being utilized and judged for your contributions.  You might project your feelings of being unfulfilled externally – such as onto a boss (“My boss is so unfair, incompetent, uncaring, lazy, unethical, unapproachable, has no clue what it takes to get things done, … fill in the blank.”), or onto your work environment (“This place sucks, is a mess, does things backwards, is so political, is so fill in the blank.”), or onto your actual work (“I hate this job.”  “This is a thankless job.”  “This job is beneath me.”  “A monkey could do this job.”).

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Purpose vs. Calling – What’s the difference?

People often ask me the difference between a “purpose” and a ”calling”.

The dictionary defines “purpose” as:  something set up as an object or end to be attained; a subject under discussion; an action in course of execution; by intent


“calling” as:  a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence; the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages

In the context of career, we can think of a purpose as an intentional act to attain a common end.  In my experience, that act, that common end we all share is to serve others.  We can think of a calling as a unique contribution (service) we each are passionate to contribute to others.

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