How livin’ the dream conquers the fear of success (or lack of success)

Client profile #3:


Name (changed of course to protect identity) – Jack


Age range – 30-40


You don-know Jack – or maybe you do ;-)


Jack was a music theory major in college and became a touring recording artist – sounds great so far doesn’t it!!


Even though Jack was livin’ the dream – touring with famous artists and even doing some work for film and TV (plus his Dad supplemented some of his income so he could keep going with his dream – to become a famous artist) – he too had success derailing thoughts.


Jack felt he had a lack of industry knowledge which kept him from getting to the next level with business managers and recording lables.  Jack accepted this degree of limitation he felt he had because he loved playing music so much – why change or stretch himself outside of his comfort zone?  After all, life was pretty good plus he didn’t really have any life obligations beyond fulfilling his own dreams and ambitions – until…

LIFE caught up with Jack.


Like many lucky people – Jack fell in love, got married and became a father – now what?…


Life on the road with limited income but playing great music no longer felt like “livin’ the dream”.  Was it ever the real dream?  What was “livin’ the dream” for Jack anyway?


So Jack created his own business in music licensing and mixing/engineering.  He enjoys helping indie artists with the technical side of making great music – he thinks.


See focusing on that business side of things (and the financial challenges of being in a new business) throws him for a loop every now and then.


So to supplement his income (no longer is Daddy there to make ends meet now that Jack is a Daddy himself), Jack takes on work as a contractor creating music for marketing companies plus he has surrendered to further cultivating his technical mixing talents.  Overall, things are going well – but Jack doesn’t agree.  Even though he doesn’t seem to have trouble finding work, his indie clients are happy with his services, and his business is getting better and better (more and more steady) – something feels “off” to Jack.


So what’s wrong here?


Those of you out there reading this who also long to truly love your work know what’s wrong – and so does Jack.


  1. Jack doesn’t (yummy, yummy) love his work – he’s disconnected from a sense of fulfillment
  2. Jack now is in a life situation that demands more consistency and predictability to his income – his values have changed
  3. Jack questions the changes he has initiated in his career – he lacks confidence in his choices


In summary…


He wants to “live the dream!”  To do something he really loves, feel confident about it (both in his choice and in the work he does), and he wants to feel like he has his priorities straight (is he still longing to achieve what he wanted to achieve when he was in his carefree 20’s or is he selling out for security?  He’s not so sure).


His pragmatic side says: “Get a resume and go find jobs mixing music for TV networks. Tha’s where the money is!” His artist side says: “What the heck are you thinkin’ – follow your original dream – get back to making music and a name for yourself!”


Here’s a common problem Jack struggles with that so many of my clients also struggle with (no matter what their age or life circumstance)…


Life goes on and things change – our priorities, our ambitions, our obligations to people we love and care about.  What’s constant in everyone’s life – whether your are 1 or 100 years old – is change.  Because of that, so do our career ambitions.  What doesn’t change (it may evolve and expand) is the dream of our higher self.


Sometimes if we haven’t achieved our initial career ambitions before there is a major shift in our life that demands that we also shift our career goals, (or before at least most of our peers have seemed to achieve their ambitions), we become afraid that your greatest talents will never fully develop and be appreciated or matter to others – that we will never have our moment to truly shine and feel fulfilled and be successful in life.  And of course that feels horrible – truly horrible!


But here’s the truth…


If we don’t ever fully discover and understand the potential impact of what we can do on others (our dream – our intention), we will eventually become a victim of what we do if we can no longer do it.  Why might you not be able to do it any longer?  The potential list of reasons is endless – here are a few examples I have heard from clients…


  • Family priorities change
  • Your financial situation changes
  • You develop a disability
  • You become “too old” (you’ve given those ambitions enough time to materialize, you want to retire, or physical limitations set in)
  • You move to a geographic area that has a diminished demand for your talents/abilities
  • Technology changes how you do your work (and you hate the technology)
  • Economic shifts changes the demand for your profession


Let me explain this further through Jack’s example.


Jack loved playing music – that is what he did.  Once he decided he could no longer just do that to make his life be aligned with his other values – like supporting and being there for his family – he became caged to the idea he had about where playing music might take him in life (in his thinking and definition of success – to being a famous rock star).  All the other opportunities that being an accomplished musician offer him in life seem questionable, less-than, maybe even boring – certainly like a failure to his original definition of success.


When we first focus on what our chosen line of work might do for us (the level of money, fame or success it can bring to us) vs. what we might accomplish for others through dedicating ourselves into that line of work – we numb our connection to a sense of fulfillment and to the ability to recognize opportunities that can bring a sense of fulfillment.  It’s like a big fat injection of botox right into our vein that enables a feeling of fulfillment from our work between our brain/hands (what we do) and our heart (what we intend for others and the fulfillment we feel in return).


The magic of career coaching…


In our free consultation, Jack discovered that a primary intention he had for others was to enlighten them to new ways of thinking – that was the dream of his higher self – yet he wasn’t operating from that intention in a long time.


I get it where being a Rock Star could be an outlet for that intention.  I also see where mixing music would value that intention.  I am sure you could think of a lot of different roles or jobs even outside of the music industry that would be beautifully performed by someone holding that intention in their heart.  Maybe a teacher, a writer, a psychologist, a coach – maybe even a spiritual leader.


But since music was a love for Jack – when he mixed that with his intention – was there any wonder Jack was as successful as he was in the music industry?  Doors opened for him all the time – but eventually he could no longer see his success or feel connected to a sense of fulfillment because it was dependent on 1 shred of material evidence – a career in music should lead to center stage.  He didn’t listen to the side of him that also needed to let other priorities share the stage with his love of music (no desire to develop his knowledge of the business side of music at a younger age and room for love and a family without being on the road and missing out on life with them).


As I said earlier, most of us tend to want to first discover what we can (and would love to) do which tends to then lead us to thoughts about what we intend for ourselves. Instead, flip that thinking – understand what you intend for others before you decide what you can/will do. Knowing what you intend often doesn’t change – it may evolve and expand but life circumstances don’t usually affect it or change it.  It’s what is in your heart for others – the wish or dream you have for the world.  


Discovering this is the first step to becoming an expert at recognizing opportunities – opportunities to feel clarified, confident and convicted for the work you decide to do (at this time in your life) for others.  That’s work you will do without ever feeling like you sold out, gave up, or are desperately clinging to old dreams which blocks your ability to see and enjoy your current success.  That’s how livin’ the dream conquers the fear of success (or lack of success).  It’s thinking (and dreaming) that can sustain a sense of fulfillment for the work you do – in the past, now or in the future.


Get your sustained sense of fulfillment!


My offer to you…


Let me help you discover your wish for the world.  Call me and I will take you through the same simple and fun to do exercise that I took Jack through in less than 1 hour.


Get a breakthrough – for yourself or for someone you know – that can prepare you for a new year that includes a job you love!  Schedule a free consultation with me today by 888/560-8233 or email me


Get it before it’s gone…


Staring January 1, 2016 my “free consultation” is going to be a Career Success Insight (“CSI”) Session – an initial coaching session with me that can give you personal clarity about how to gain fulfillment right now from any job – even a job you have and may even hate!


This session will be $47 (a wicked bargain!) that can be applied toward any purchased coaching package.  PLUS, you can receive an additional 10% off my signature program – The Discover Your Life Calling 6 week coaching package if you sign up within 48 hours after our CSI Session.


So now is the time to secure a free consultation with me.


Already been through my free consultation?  


Then refer a friend and if they sign up for at least $250 worth of services – I will gift you with 60 minutes of coaching services that you can use whenever you want – that’s $150 value!  Or better yet – the holidays are coming, so you can gift the $150 to your referral and I will apply it to their services.  This referral offer is good through December 31, 2015.


About Gina Calvano

Gina Calvano is a certified coach and Senior Professional in Human Resources, with over 20 years of experience as a talent management professional in both the private and non-profit sectors. With a unique approach, she combines her strategic corporate expertise and accreditations with metaphysics and transformational thinking which has resulted in people all over the world feeling good about themselves and connected to a sense of purpose.

She created the Success Readiness Bootcamp™, a step by step process that enables people to easily discover their unique talents and abilities and match them to majors, jobs, industries and leisure pursuits. Gina is also the co-author of Breakthrough! Inspirational Strategies for an Audaciously Authentic Life with NY Times Best Selling Authors Marci Shimoff, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood and Powerful Connections Made Easy™ with Aprille Trupiano, and is currently working on her next book — Caged in My Cube: The Turnaround Guide For Loving The Job You Hate.

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