If work has you feeling like “I don’t wanna…” – shift your focus to this…

Sometimes we just don’t wanna do the things we have to do.  The reasons are vast and wide….


We’re tired, cranky, hungry, we don’t feel good, we just need a hug – oy!  We’re downright babies sometimes aren’t we?!


We all have our off days.  We can have our moods from time to time but what we cannot do is sustain a sense of satisfaction from our work if all we are focused on acting on our negatively charged moods.  At work, our moods tend to become negatively charged when we are focused on what we  perceive to be as less than favorable external factors and lack of potential rewards.  This includes things like:


  • doing stuff we don’t like to do (tasks we have to do)
  • worrying about how other people react to what we do
  • interacting with people we don’t like
  • having to do more with less time and resources
  • having to go somewhere we don’t like to do our work
  • working under undesirable conditions


In other words, we are focused on factors we have little to no control over.


I am a believer that we can only EASILY control 3 things at work:

  1. What we serve others (our intentions)
  2. How we serve others (our qualities/attitude)
  3. What we request from others – and we are more likely to get what we want when we are clear how what we want can make it easier to serve others in the way we want to make a difference for them.


Focusing on our intentions for others and the qualities we have and can easily share with others that can enable those intentions to fully manifest safeguards us from putting too much focus on factors we cannot control (and often might drain us of an engaged perspective of our work and the impact we can have for others).  It also connects us to working with a sustained sense of purpose.


Working with a sense of purpose doesn’t come from getting everything we want or from serving everyone we interact with flawlessly.  It comes from giving what we easily have to give to those who matter most to us – whether or not they shower us with gratitude or whether or not we get the results we ultimately strive to achieve.  Of course, life at work is much sweeter when we win adoration, rewards and hit our targets – but being adored, paid a lot of money and meeting goals alone does not bring fulfillment – does it?  The workforce is full of high achieving, (materially) successful people who are unhappy (about 70% of the workforce as a matter of fact).


So if work has you feeling like “I don’t wanna…” – shift your focus to this…


…from the thing you gotta do at work that’s bringing you down to your intentions for those you serve and the easily accessible qualities you have that can enable those you serve to experience those intentions.


Here’s how…


Your truest qualities


To get in touch with what you easily have to give – explore your “truest” qualities.  Not your “best” qualities – but your “truest” – your most reliable qualities.


Our “best” qualities aren’t always our most reliable qualities.  Sometimes our “best” qualities are our definition of what we think is “best” (or what we most appreciate) in others that we also have and can access too – from time to time – when we need to – damn it!


It’s tough to offer “our best” to others when we define our best to be qualities that aren’t easily reliable for us – but we admire them when we see them in others.  When we feel frustrated and want to indulge how we feel in the moment – especially if we are feeling stressed, under pressure, frustrated, upset or angry – it can be hard to show qualities that aren’t easily accessible or reliable for us.


Your “truest” qualities, on the other hand, are what we know is easy for us to share with others – in fact, they are the qualities we can’t turn off (even if our cherished pet just died) – they are too automatic – to reliable within us.


We must stop judging ourselves against qualities we admire and value from others but may not be dominant within us.  So take a moment and think about 3 of your “truest” qualities – those that are dominant within you – the one’s can’t you help but ante up every time you are helping another or a part of a team – even if you feel like “I don’t wanna…”


You’ve probably heard many different people (in and out of work) describe you by or compliment you for these traits several times in the past.  Embrace these as your “truest” qualities.


Write out your “truest” qualities.



Your truest intentions


Once you are aware of some of your “truest” qualities, you can figure out your “truest” intentions for others.


When we understand how our “truest” qualities can enable a certain intention we have and want those we care about to experience or feel, we can access and offer those qualities no matter how we feel and shift our focus off of factors that cannot sustain a sense of engagement and purpose for us.


So what do your “truest” qualities enable for others?  What do those who experience your “truest” qualities  get to feel, experience or accomplish?


If this is hard to determine, consider what difference would it make – or would it have made, in your life or work if you were surrounded by people who served you from your 3 “truest” qualities?  What would you get or have gotten from that value experience?


Write out the “truest” intentions that your “truest” qualities possibly enable for others.



A shifted perspective


Shifting your focus at work from what you have to do to how you have an opportunity to make others feel will change the energy that you give off to others.  This will change – for the better – how others react to you.   You will know how to operate in a way that makes you feel validated and like you have something of value to offer to others – despite tasks you hate, adverse conditions, resource limitations, etc.


This exercise is also practice for strengthening your ability to find opportunities to share your “truest” qualities and therefore experience making a meaningful contribution in relation to others.


It also gets you present to the concept that serving others your unique, “truest” qualities with an awareness of your “truest” intention is a way to get out of “I don’t wanna …” feelings and reconnect to working with a sense of purpose!


About Gina Calvano

Gina Calvano is a certified coach and Senior Professional in Human Resources, with over 20 years of experience as a talent management professional in both the private and non-profit sectors. With a unique approach, she combines her strategic corporate expertise and accreditations with metaphysics and transformational thinking which has resulted in people all over the world feeling good about themselves and connected to a sense of purpose.

She created the Success Readiness Bootcamp™, a step by step process that enables people to easily discover their unique talents and abilities and match them to majors, jobs, industries and leisure pursuits. Gina is also the co-author of Breakthrough! Inspirational Strategies for an Audaciously Authentic Life with NY Times Best Selling Authors Marci Shimoff, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood and Powerful Connections Made Easy™ with Aprille Trupiano, and is currently working on her next book — Caged in My Cube: The Turnaround Guide For Loving The Job You Hate.

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